Month: December 2020

Let me start off by saying, I love my parents! This morning I was triggered by a IG post talking about emotionally immature parents, it set my creativity meter on flames, hear me out. My mother will tell you every chance she gets that she got married straight out of high school because she wanted to get out of her parents house. My mother is reactionary, she’s not a deep thinker, I brought up the fact that she could of found some roommates and moved into a apartment, that thought never crossed her mind, instead, she married a wild and immature boy like my father, who had no business tying the knot with a woman who he had no intentions of being faithful to. Two years later I enter the picture, thats extra responsibilities that these two couldn’t handle plus I was born with a birth defect so that put more weight on their shoulders. My dad checked out emotionally, he became aggressive and unreliable, he soon left my mother and I to fend for ourselves in this cold cold world. So do you know what I got growing up? A heavy dose of resentment towards my parents. Then I had to become the bigger person and forgive them both. They both did the best they could but reality prevailed at the end, really they were doomed from the start because both of their intentions wasn’t geared towards growth and love, it was geared towards leaving a situation without a plan and then bringing a baby into the mix. Today both of my parents have remarried and they are living their best lives and I am so proud of them both. My goal is to reach the energy levels when I was at my best, when I was 4 years old, I was witty, courageous, I didn’t care what people had to say and my heart didn’t experience any heartbreak. So, in closing, the essence of that 4 year old boy is what I seek in meditation, I love him immensely, he is with me always.